Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Budget Friendly*

Yeah...budget friendly and NYC do not go together. Don't get me wrong, they definitely go together for all the lovely couples down at city hall, on the waterfront or small intimate restaurant celebrations, (all of whom I love and bitterly want to be at various times) but for me....well, I have a 254 person guest list. Thank you over-breeding grandparents. Dad's 1 of 12, Mom's 1 of 4. And yes, there are two priests and a spinster in those numbers who didn't produce children.

We discussed cocktail receptions, I brought up a bbq truck, we thought about renting gyms. Turns out a cocktail reception costs as much as sit down because you 'have to provide continuous food for four hours' yeah, we heard that. FH didn't realize how big the list was and denied the bbq truck/surprise picnic wedding. fatal fiscal mistake. And I'd already rented a school gym for my sister's bridal shower 9 years ago, we were poor and had 100 women for a bridal shower. yup. ridiculous.

So we decided to copy a wedding we loved. My cousin and his wife had a church wedding, greeted people at the door, which I LOVE, and afterwards had a mid-day brunch at a restaurant they rented for the day.

So, budget-friendly meant keeping the cost per person at our venue to under $100 per person. How hard could it be to rent out a restaurant for under $100 a head? v. if you are doing Saturday night in or near NYC.

Then I found kvetch.indiebride.com, where there was a whole thread about Bubby's Brides. Bubby's the brunch spot? with the pies? YES. And message board brides raved. We went, met Jojo, found the price to be justunder $100 with food and drink (not including tax and gratuity) and fell in love.

The best part? We live right across the East River from Bubby's and can point out the building to ourselves.

The worst part? We're getting married in the Bronx and having the party in Brooklyn. Think everyone can handle getting a metro card and a map and figure it out? And my parents think they are getting eggs for dinner, but I can't fix that.

And yes, you have now multiplied $100 by 254 and come up with $25,400. I have too. I know. It's a lot. It's our little part to keep the economy alive.

Friday, February 20, 2009

excuse me?

Spoke with the future mother in law (FMIL) last night.

Her: Soooo, I hear you and FH saw some rehearsal dinner spots
Me: We did
Her: Any ideas you want to share??
Me: FH has all of the information on the places, you can ask him about details
Her: Oh.... okay
Me: Yeah, I've delegated the rehearsal dinner, but I'm sure he'd love to talk to you about it!

Him on couch: *squint*grimace*

that's what you get when you let your husband bully me.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

what happens after

why, hello, Hawaii. FH was put in charge of honeymoon related planning. And has come up with some delightful plans that will involve me on a surfboard at least once during our TWO WEEK STAY. I shall now look forward to this.

Is it bad that I have the bad economy to thank for affordable prices? As long as I thank the gods that be that we still have jobs on a daily basis, methinks.

ps, I'm not going to feel bad/ashamed/embarrassed about not having a cutting edge honeymoon location. I'm going to love this in every way, shape and form. Hey, if it's good enough for Bourdain, it's good enough for me.

Friday, February 13, 2009


This about sums up what I'm willing do to in the name of valentine's day. This and buy my love some chocolate. and a card.

courtesy of someecards.com

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Wedding v. Marriage

The whole drama over the rehearsal dinner has gotten me to think about the differences between a wedding and a marriage. Why are they inextricably linked? Simply because the wedding is the official starting point of the marriage?

The starting point to our marriage happened already, a few weeks after FH moved in and we started living our lives together. The first few weeks after the move in were a little rough as I like my space due to the fact that I had been living by myself for a while. But after that point, we really started our marriage.

This comforts me. Thinking about standing on an altar in front of everyone I know makes me anxious, but knowing that FH and I have formed a loving partnership and live together as a team/couple/whatever you want to call it brings me such happiness and joy. It also gives me strength to deal with the drama and perspective. Perspective that I hope to use to enjoy my wedding day as simply a party with everyone coming together to celebrate us. We are willing to make sacrifices on that day, and that day alone, to make other people happy. But our lives we have only ourselves to answer to.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Rehearsal Dinner

I want to skip the rehearsal dinner. It has caused the most drama out of anything we have endeavored to plan as part of our wedding. Mainly because FH's parents are divorced (and remarried) and one couple is so absolutely insane that I'm in therapy. hahaha, just kidding, not really.

They have been bullying us into planning the rehearsal dinner a full year and one month before the actual wedding. I became increasingly stressed after repeated questioning about where is the rehearsal dinner? what should we do? what do we need to bring? should it have a theme? It's hard to have the same answer to several different questions, the answer "I don't care."

Started to wonder, why do they care so much? This is the sick part: because this is a competition for them vs. FH's father. Exhibited through power trips mixed in with some unhealthy verbal abuse. Joy! I hope you can now see why I want to skip the rehearsal dinner and go straight to popping two tylenol PMs in my childhood twin bed.

The icing on this red velvet cake from hell is that FH actually wanted to wait until they were in town to have them pick a place, ergo rewarding their horrible behavior thus far and setting a dangerous precedent for the rest of our lives. They bully, we give in. No way. I got him to agree to giving them three options. And I know this sounds like a huge power struggle. It is.

So we finally went to little italy, right near where we are getting hitched, to visit some old school restaurants, get prices, and scope out rooms. Their response, "wow, you're really early" as in, you are early even at 8 months out! We don't have to book this until the month before! I want to leave prank messages on their phones with a parakeet saying "I told you so" over and over and over and over again.

I kind of want to book our favorite old pizza place just to piss off the parents since they clearly view this as a presentation of their success and worth in life. Hey, at least I would get to eat chicken rolls...
Pugley's Pizza...it isn't known for ambiance

Thursday, February 5, 2009

+ 1

I'm the proud aunt of Emma Elizabeth, 9lbs, 15 ounces, born February 4, 2009. Her skin is as pink as the room in which she will sleep. And she has mad kicking skills.

Monday, February 2, 2009

unhappy feet

what if the shoes you thought were perfect hurt your feet? back to the drawing board? return or break in?