Ummmm

We have 13 months to go until the wedding. And, so far, we have taken care of

1. The Church
2. The Restaurant for the party aka reception
3. My dress (impulse sample sale, still feeling good about it)
   
4. His tux (already had one, he's so fancy)
5. Wedding party
6. Priests (2 of my uncles, one of the perks of the big irish family)

I think that's a lot. To have done so far ahead of time. We've spent time moving in together and enjoying our engagement, talking about our future lives.

So I don't know where this is coming from or why I'm expected to hand over the rehearsal dinner to the future in laws. Because they are asking us every. chance. they. get. about the rehearsal dinner. and what do we want. and usually the parents of the groom handle that. and you need to MAKE. A. DECISION. RIGHT. NOW.

Where did this come from? We don't need this pressure. The rehearsal dinner will be just that. A dinner. At a restaurant. I'm pretty sure restaurants know how to handle 40 people for dinner and we don't need to do much else. And I'm pretty sure that the restaurants we are thinking about don't need to be booked 13 MONTHS IN ADVANCE.

I'm trying to understand where they are coming from, but FH has two sets of parents, so we have to consult with everyone, yet one set of parents is dominating the conversation right now. I feel bad doing this, but because my initial reaction was to say 'F-off' (don't worry, I didn't do that, I just pointed out that we had 13 months), FH is going to have to handle communication with his family for now.

It was a piece of advice I got early on from a coworker: If the future in laws start asking you too many questions about the wedding, just tell them, 'I'll mention that to FH and he'll get back to you' or 'FH is handling that, why don't you ask him'

priceless advice. and free!

So True

This article on money matters: The Key to Wedded Bliss? Money Matters. While the couples they site are totally in a different income bracket, as one who has struggled with debt and came from a household that stuggled with bills from time to time, I can't agree more.

Agreeing with is easy, putting into practice is a whole other matter. I think planning and paying for a wedding definitely sets up how you talk about money for the rest of your marriage. For that, I'm grateful that we are picking up the majority of the bill, it will give us experience and provide challenges that will hopefully make us a stronger team.

The Best

My nephew is the cutest and part of the reason I moved back to NYC from DC. He inevitably had one of the best reactions to our engagement, as follows:

Connor Monster: DEE DEE, ConGRAulations!
me: Thanks Connor!
CM: When are you gonna get mawwied?
me: When you are 5, I'm going to get married and you are invited to big party!
CM (confused look, furrowed brow, look of excitement): DEE DEE! I'll be 5....TOOMOWWOW!
actual age: 3yrs and 9 months

So, it was no surprise that he, of all of my immediate relatives, had the best reaction to learning his aunt and uncle are living together. The following conversation took place when discussing a pending sleepover. Can anyone say "test child"?

CM: I want to sleep over at Aunt Dee Dee's house
Sis: Okay, but it's Aunt Dee Dee and Uncle Rob's house
CM: What?
Sis: Aunt Dee Dee and Uncle Rob live together
CM(high squeaky voice): Aunt DEE DEE and Uncle WOB live to-GET-her?!?!
**look of utter amazement**

then complete silence

i heart that little man

Guilt

There is something about asking a few of your friends to stand up with you and leaving some people out. Wedding parties always seemed superfluous to me, in fact, I always thought I would only have my sister. Until the case of the friend with only her sister in her wedding party and the almost no shower/selfishness incident. And until my wonderful FH announced that he was considering 10 T-E-N men as groomsmen. oh hell no.

So, I thoughtfully picked out friends who have seen me through camp, school, bad hair dyes, bad boyfriends, good decisions, bad bosses, working for the devil, gore/bush, kerry/bush, my early 20s and whom I am very close to presently, without baggage or hesitance, knowing that they each individually would drop what they were doing and save me Batman style from becoming a crazy bride or a shower surprise ambush. I am very happy with my picks.

However. There are two outliers, including a cousin, who I feel SO GUILTY about not asking to be a bridesmaid. I know I will involve them in one way or another, but....still. damn irish catholic upbringing.

and the FH is not having 10. because that is just inexcusable. even if he does have four brothers.

Holiday Weekend Weddings

We're getting married on a holiday weekend. More significantly, it will also be the fourth anniversary of our first date, which makes me feel a whole lot better about the holiday that is being celebrated. I never had a soft spot for Columbus. I do, however, have a soft spot for fall foliage and that crisp feel to the air in October.

The thinking/decision making behind picking our date went something like this:

everyone: When are you getting married?
me (dreamily): I like fall...
everyone: So, October or November?
me (cornered): I like October
everyone: This year?
me (calculating cost in head): oh hell no, prob next year

It is strange to look back on that first month of decision making, as I'm not sure I would have made the same decisions. Lately I'm antsy and just want to have the wedding next month, not next year.

When we both started thinking about weekends, and FH very much liked Columbus Day weekend, because people would have off from work and could make it into a long travel weekend. Thing is, not many people I know outside of the Northeast or the banking industry actually have off for CD. I don't even have off for CD. Nor did I 3 years ago on our first date when he had off the next day and I had to go to work all starry eyed from the night before. We were also considering having a Sunday wedding to save $$$, so that weekend made more sense to us. We're not doing Sunday, however, our place was the same price for Sunday as Saturday....

Now my fear is that everything in NYC will be more expensive because it is CD, including flights, hotels, etc. I wonder if other people think about this when they are picking their holiday weekend wedding dates. Seems to make things more complicated, doesn't it?