How Will I Know I'm At a Wedding?

Went to hang out with my sister and her friends at her beach rental last week. I suspect it was a poorly planned wedding intervention, but these days, every interaction with my sister goes similarly. This was an actual conversation:

Her: You guys, she's not having cake
Friend 1: Not having cake!
Friend 2: You have to have cake!
Me: No I don't
Her: I will buy you a cake
Me: You only want to do that because you bought me a cake topper. We are having pie, get over it, it costs more money to serve cake than it's worth
Her: You are ridiculous
Friend 1: How will I know I'm at a wedding if you don't cut cake?
Me: I don't know, maybe the one hour service before and the big white dress I'll be wearing could be hints?

And no, I have not told them of the many other things we are skipping: champagne toast (that shit is expensive), garter toss (ridiculous), bouquet toss (also ridiculous), being announced (just silly, everyone there knows who we are)

You have to learn to pick your battles.

cute

Just in case anyone out there loves ladybugs



Placecards and other loverly things are on sale at kate's paperie (where I spent an hour trying to figure out if I wanted to line my own envelopes and subsequently decided to only line a choice few)

Apologies

Sorry, I short-circuited on macy's yesterday. It isn't a big deal, but I feel bad for people who are trying to buy us presents and are faced with sheer incompetence.

On a lighter note, Williams Sonoma has been nothing but a delight to work with/receive gifts from.

We're less than 2 months out and it's....exciting. I'm really really excited. I think it will be a great day but most of all, I'm excited to call FH my husband. We've been practicing and it usually ends up with giggles.

Our response rate has been slower than I would have liked, but we're almost at a 50% response rate, 3 weeks after sending out the invites and 2.5 weeks before the cut off date. With the Yes/No rate, we're likely to have about 240 at the wedding, which sounds perfect. It's not likely to be that many tho as conventional wisdom says that you'll get more Nos towards the end.

We got back one response card from a girlfriend of mine and she didn't put her boyfriends name. I'm thinking, oh dear lord, I hope I didn't offend them by not putting his name on the invite. After a few frantic emails/calls to all non marrieds in a relationship, I come to find out that she was going through a really tough time and had just broken up with her boyfriend.

So, lesson learned, it isn't all about me all the time and it never should be.

Dear Macy's,

Dear Macy's,

You fucking suck. I realize that we are in a national fiscal meltdown, but if you advertise a certain kate spade china pattern during all of 2008/2009, brides are going to want it and you best stock the freaking merchandise or no one will be able to buy it.

I won't even go into the candlesticks on backorder for 95 days or my bedding on closeout.

You blow. And I find it annoying that I have to go through weddingchannel.com to get to the registry, which operates like a website from 1995. fix that.

best,
LB

hey now, bed bath and beyond, what's your stock room look like....

Follow Up

I bought this one and met Sara Gabriel herself (sassy mom to be with tattoos! a veil designer with tattoos!). I felt compelled to tell her that most veils scare me, but hers don't. She accepted by high compliment quite gracefully.

Tempting

Going to the Sara Gabriel trunk show at Gabriella in a few. Where I shall try on:

Wendy
Katie


and Drew...
Lord only knows how much these things cost, but I just can't help myself. I PROMISE not to buy anything crazy. which is what I said 45 mins before buying a sample at Kleinfelds. sh!t.

I'm a Survivor

A lazy bride's coping mechanism for difficult family:

Tip #1
Make sure everyone is on the same page. If your FH doesn't see a control battle/power struggle when it is obvious to you, sit back and watch for a while. State the obvious, without any slant, it will hit him/her eventually.

Tip #2
When your FH is cursing out his own parents, stand back. You have/want no part of this.

Tip #3
When faced with confronting a situation head on vs. putting it off to the wedding, confront, start fresh, encourage deep breaths, we are all adults here.

Tip #4
If the sleeping arrangements are not clear to you and you live in the apt/house, state your desires before they arrive and have your significant other define those terms to his/her parents, this will end up beautifully with you in your bed and not the air mattress

Tip #5
If the car isn't air conditioned, look on the bright side, at least you don't have to talk to them with the wind drowning out everything but your own thoughts.

Tip #6
Exercise your right for alone time, go to the supermarket alone, leave the situation, if you must claim sickness, do so.

Tip #7
When your significant other tries to gloss over the weekend as not so bad, highlight the one, most egregious infraction that goes against the core of your values and principles so that they don't forget what you just went through for their family.

Tip #8
Live at least 4 states from said difficult people.

they're coming....

the in-laws. for a visit. and staying in our 500 sq foot nyc apartment. with us.

pray for me.

xoxo,
lb

ps, my mom offered to get my old bedroom ready in case i wanted to stay at my parents'. i do. ssshh, don't tell FH, i'm trying to be strong and show resolve in the face of adversity, aka, downright assholeishness.

Lil Peek

Dropped off the dress on saturday...this pic is pre-alterations. Subsequently went to fancy dress shop where I learned my sample sale bargain is a "fit to flare" whatever that means. And the woman seemed shocked that I didn't know the designer. Should I care?

Was made to try on several veils worth hundreds of dollars to end up in david's bridal with a birdcage on my head and a smile on my face. Is a trend over when it ends up in david's bridal? Is david's bridal the old navy of bridal fashion? all I know is everyone seemed perfectly happy and bridal-y in that store.

Bridesmaid Dress Blues

So, my sister had a lovely baby girl 6 months ago. She ordered a bridesmaid dress 2 months ago. And it doesn't fit. Not because she ordered the right size, but she ordered the size that was $50 less than the "next" size category.

When faced with this decision, encourage your bridesmaids to order the right size and not go through the agony of what my sister just went through. No woman should have to wear a bridesmaid dress after just giving birth, but if they have to they should be kind enough to themselves to order the right size. And no one knows what size you ordered when you walk down that aisle, so it really doesn't matter.

Thankfully, we have a master seamstress on the case. Who is now in possession of my wedding dress!!! eeeeee. first fitting: done.