Went to hang out with my sister and her friends at her beach rental last week. I suspect it was a poorly planned wedding intervention, but these days, every interaction with my sister goes similarly. This was an actual conversation:
Her: You guys, she's not having cake
Friend 1: Not having cake!
Friend 2: You have to have cake!
Me: No I don't
Her: I will buy you a cake
Me: You only want to do that because you bought me a cake topper. We are having pie, get over it, it costs more money to serve cake than it's worth
Her: You are ridiculous
Friend 1: How will I know I'm at a wedding if you don't cut cake?
Me: I don't know, maybe the one hour service before and the big white dress I'll be wearing could be hints?
And no, I have not told them of the many other things we are skipping: champagne toast (that shit is expensive), garter toss (ridiculous), bouquet toss (also ridiculous), being announced (just silly, everyone there knows who we are)
You have to learn to pick your battles.
1 day ago